Percy Jackson and his bronze sword of manliness
by awesomenessmcawesomess
Summary: Percy Jackson fights the fights of the fighting, if you catch my drift.
1. Chapter 1

Percy was running faster than his legs could carry him (that makes sense). He fan so fast that he almost outran the other guy, the mysterious one with the mask on (scroll up). That mysterious man that I never even mentioned he was being chased by untill he tripped.

"oh no!"says captain obvious (Percy. My bad.)

Suddenly, the onmivous voice be(I speeled that right right? :p ;) :(o) :3)came closed to Percy .

"Percy… I beat you..", says the voice

"No you didn't!". Says Percy," I brought my plot device! You'll find out what it is later!"

The ring shined a brilliant

No that's too descriptive

The ring was so shiny that the voice groaned and moaned. I'll be back! He says, with ". Ain't nobody got time for that.

And than the voice creaked and disappeared. Percy smiled to himself, as he got up, and used the new powers I just gave him to turn into water (I'm so original right?).


	2. Chapter 2

So Percy Jackson had came back to his camp. He rode on his horse. He rode and he rode and then he picked the horses hair a little and than he pettted his horse his sweet horse and he rode and rides his horse that he loves so much

"Oh blaxkjack, why are you so pretty?". He said, in an attempt to fill this chapter with more words, and hopefully some character depth (fat chance of that).

The horse said back to him,"You man fo shizzle"and before rappin' his way back to camp half-blood.

He was just finishin a yo momma joke when annabeth came over. Annabeth was still a blond knockout, but she know showed her true personality, by which I mean the one I made a new one up so I- I mean Jusie- could become Percy's girlfriend.

"Percy Jackson! You better not have put any dirt into my new dress that you were supposed to be bringing! ".

She narrowed her eyes

" You brought it, didn't you?"

"No… I forgot… Sorry…"

"Oh my god, you forgot my dress! You little selfish brat you, you old coot, you lazy loser!"

" you know that we have a relationship, and we have one because right now is a convient time for me to explain what happened to cause all of this. I remember when u saved your life from that old traitor, and he said that mysterious phropechy, and you can't even bring me a dress?"

"But"

"YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED! _YOU PROMISED!_ " She shreiked, before thundering off.

Percy sighed.

"What am I gonna do black jack? She's so nagging and controlling"

" I dunno man, maybe yo shoulda brought her that dress, yo PROMISED her didn't ya? Fo shizzle." Said (rapped?) blackjack

Percy ignored him, because it's a convient plot device to break up with annabeth. He sighed and repeated himself

"What am I gonna do black jack? She's so nagging and controlling"

" I dunno man, maybe yo shoulda brought her that dress, yo PROMISED her didn't ya? Fo shizzle." Said (rapped?) blackjack

"What am I gonna do black jack? She's so nagging and controlling"

" I dunno man, maybe yo shoulda brought her that dress, yo PROMISED her didn't ya? Fo shizzle." Said (rapped?) blackjack,"I already said all this junk, you aren't even listening, fo shizzle!" He finished angrily

Blackjack was right, and I decided that I'll use that to show how humble and perfect Percy is, instead of actually making Percy apologize for broking his promise. He's right, thought Percy, I'm humble enough to say it's my fault even though I don't think it is my fault , thought Percy uncharacteristically.

So he settled on singing the terrible song lyrics I wrote in my head.

"When the world turns against you….

You've gotta fight back…

You can't just turn your back!

Ojhhhhhh hoooo

Ohhhh hooooo

(Chorus) OHHHHHH HOOOO"

His voice was so perfect that the squirrels sang along with him. It would of been an awesome song too, but…

(Here's a hint as to what happens in the next chapter that yourall dying to read!;

Percy Jackson woke up in the infirmary. He looked around. He saw his best friends; Leo, Piper, and Jason.

I don't know any real good humor lines, so I'll just do the worst Mexican accent you've ever heard. It's right here in the fan girl handbook.

"Percy, my friend-ito! Hola, hola hola!"

For just a moment everyone turned and glared at the 4th wall. "Seriously?" , They thought, "the author can't spell out amigos? "

But that was only for a moment. If this wasnt a parody, you would never see the moment

Anyways

"Percy-ito, what's a wrong!" Said a concerned Leo. ("Seriously author", said Leo," I'm not Mario")

Percy stood up. " I-I-I-I don't know, I just woke up here… with this arrow in my hand".

"Percy, you had better be careful with that. It's the arrow of Artemis." said jason

Everyone gasped, even Jason, even though he already knew what it was.

*Sexy snakes, Percy!", said Leo," your gonna get killed if you keep playing with that!".

I've got to find out who's arrow this is, Percy thought to himself. So he got up, and knocked on everyone's doors like a girl scout. He even put on his boy scout suit. He finally opened the door to a beautiful camper in the Artemis.

She had the same hair color as me, but blond highlights, because I always wanted blond highlights (but my parents refused). She had green eyes, because I always wanted green eyes. She cute face and a skinny waist, because I wanted all of that before I invested in Reese's and pinkles. Basically, she was an author insert, and a good one too.

I (I meant she) said to Percy Jackson, ". Oh woe is me! I was just fixing this squirrels leg, and I have to wait to open the door. ". She went out to greet Percy Jackson

"Oh Percy, wants wrong?"

"Uhhhh" he said, not sure how to answer, and _stunned_ by her prettiness.

"Oh, that arrow, it's mine! I'm the ONLY child of Artemis! I'm so special and sexy!

" uhhh yea",Percy agreed,". And I've got to make at least one more cringe worthy moment (this is a parody). So I decided that Percy Jackson tries to kiss her.

The ms says,"my name is courage( I already forgot the name from chapter 1), and I wanted to know, did you want to stay here for the night and look out into the moon and slowly reach for each other in the company of the moonlight? "

Percy bent down to slowly kiss her, fully. And tell her how much in love they were with each other's bodies, since that was the only thing the saw so far. But that's true love too right?

And annabeth said from behind Percy,"Yes I do, thank you for asking! "

Percy said to annabeth, ". I hate you! ". And then courage says," you already have a girlfriend? Well that's totally ok becuz yolo. "

Needless to say, that last remark kept Percy away from the cabin untill chapter 4.

Lol no more hints, you'll have to wait until Friday, I'm a vry buzy gurl. #busybusybee

#Ilovepercy # #obsurehashtag)


	3. Chapter 3

Percy Jackson woke up in the infirmary. He looked around. He saw his best friends; Leo, Piper, and Jason.

I don't know any real good humor lines, so I'll just do the worst Mexican accent you've ever heard. It's right here in the fan girl handbook.

"Percy, my friend-ito! Hola, hola hola!"

For just a moment everyone turned and glared at the 4th wall. "Seriously?" , They thought, "the author can't spell out amigos? "

But that was only for a moment. If this wasnt a parody, you would never see the moment

Anyways

"Percy-ito, what's a wrong!" Said a concerned Leo. ("Seriously author", said Leo," I'm not Mario")

Percy stood up. " I-I-I-I don't know, I just woke up here… with this arrow in my hand".

"Percy, you had better be careful with that. It's the arrow of Artemis." said jason

Everyone gasped, even Jason, even though he already knew what it was.

*Sexy snakes, Percy!", said Leo," your gonna get killed if you keep playing with that!".

I've got to find out who's arrow this is, Percy thought to himself. So he got up, and knocked on everyone's doors like a girl scout. He even put on his boy scout suit. He finally opened the door to a beautiful camper in the Artemis.

She had the same hair color as me, but blond highlights, because I always wanted blond highlights (but my parents refused). She had green eyes, because I always wanted green eyes. She cute face and a skinny waist, because I wanted all of that before I invested in Reese's and pinkles. Basically, she was an author insert, and a good one too.

I (I meant she) said to Percy Jackson, ". Oh woe is me! I was just fixing this squirrels leg, and I have to wait to open the door. ". She went out to greet Percy Jackson

"Oh Percy, wants wrong?"

"Uhhhh" he said, not sure how to answer, and _stunned_ by her prettiness.

"Oh, that arrow, it's mine! I'm the ONLY child of Artemis! I'm so special and sexy!

" uhhh yea",Percy agreed,". And I've got to make at least one more cringe worthy moment (this is a parody). So I decided that Percy Jackson tries to kiss her.

The ms says,"my name is courage( I already forgot the name from chapter 1), and I wanted to know, did you want to stay here for the night and look out into the moon and slowly reach for each other in the company of the moonlight? "

Percy bent down to slowly kiss her, fully. And tell her how much in love they were with each other's bodies, since that was the only thing the saw so far. But that's true love too right?

And annabeth said from behind Percy,"Yes I do, thank you for asking! "

Percy said to annabeth, ". I hate you! ". And then courage says," you already have a girlfriend? Well that's totally ok becuz yolo. "

Needless to say, that last remark kept Percy away from the cabin untill chapter 4.

Lol no more hints, you'll have to wait until Friday, I'm a vry buzy gurl. #busybusybee

#Ilovepercy # #obsurehashtag


End file.
